Stalking

January is National Stalking Awareness Month,a time to focus

on a dangerous crime and seek ways to protect its victims.

WHAT IS STALKING?

While legal definitions of stalking vary from one jurisdiction to

another, a good working definition of stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.

Click here for information about the State of Maine law regarding stalking.

Stalking is unwanted pursuit or harassment that causes fear. There are many different behaviors that can be called stalking, but they all share a common feature: they involve unwanted actions which threaten and/or cause fear in the victim. Although we most often read about strangers stalking celebrities, the majority of stalkers know their victim. New ways of stalking emerge frequently, and different behaviors can be threatening or cause fear to different individuals. No list can encompass all stalking behaviors, but stalking often includes the following:
• Following or surveillance
• Inappropriate approaches and confrontations
• Appearing at a place of residence or work
• Unwanted telephone calls, including hangups
• Threats to you
• Threats to family and friends
• Unwanted emails and/or letters
• Unwanted or threatening gifts
• Unwanted text messages, pages, and/or instant messages
• Damage to property
• Physical assault
• Sexual Assault
• Unwanted messages on group network sites such as myspace or facebook

“Anyone can be a stalker, and anyone can be a victim.”
- Rhonda Saunders, Co-Author of California Stalking Law

Warning Signs

There is no single list of warning signs that will tell you if you are a survivor. You are the best judge of your situation. If you are in a relationship that is concerning you or are feeling threatened by someone you know, the following are some warning signs to watch out for in this person.
• Frequent loss of temper
• Abuse of alcohol/other drugs
• Jealousy
• Expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or inform him/her of your whereabouts
• Following you
• Threats
• Physical or verbal abuse
• Damage or destruction to your property

Are you being stalked? Do you know someone who is?

It started with an invitation to dinner. Or perhaps it began with a gift of flowers from an anonymous admirer. Or maybe it began with a peculiar letter from a "fan." Or it started with a silent, ominous watcher. Or maybe it started with a growled threat.

However it started, you now feel uncomfortable every time the phone rings, every time you have to be out alone at night, every time you go to your car or reach for your mail. The stalker is out there, somewhere, and the unceasing, unwanted attentions make your skin crawl and your hands clammy. You never thought it would happen to you, but you are being stalked. Stalking is an insidious crime that eats away at your sense of security, leaving you feeling more vulnerable than ever before in your life.

So, what do you do now?

Documentation

By documenting stalking activity, you can help your advocate understand the specifics of your situation and/ or help law enforcement build a stronger case and better assist you.
Keep two log journals:
• A log of all factual information. Include dates, times, locations, any exact words that you can remember. Include any witnesses, where it was witnessed, and witness contact information if you can obtain it.
• A journal of how the behaviors made you feel. For example, uncomfortable, scared, fearful, etc.
Keep voicemail recordings or answering machine tapes that include unwanted, threatening or inappropriate messages. Keep any emails, letters, notes, other writings and any objects or gifts sent to you. It is important to save all evidence, no matter how inconsequential it seems.

Click here for a printable incident log to help you with documentation.

Protection Orders

In some cases protection orders can discourage the stalking behavior. Protection orders also assist law enforcement in building the strongest possible case. Protection orders should be obtained as part of an overall safety plan. For some stalkers, court intervention in the form of a protection order can escalate the situation and the violence. You need to make the decision that is best for you. A protection order directs the offender not to approach or contact you. We can provide you with information and assistance in obtaining a protection order.

Safety Planning

There are no easy answers to ensure safety. It is important to come up with a plan to utilize if you are in crisis. It is helpful to review these plans often and with loved ones. We can help you develop a safety plan that fits your needs. The following are several suggestions to think about.
• Inform trusted neighbors of the situation and provide them with photos or descriptions of the offender and his or her car
• Plan escape routes from your home
• Keep a cell phone with you at all times
• Install solid core doors with dead bolt locks
• Change the keys to all your locks and always account for each key
• Make sure all windows can be secured and locked
• Install adequate outside lighting
• Use an unlisted phone number
• Be selective in giving out your phone number
• Vary your normal travel routes
• Have roommates screen calls and visitors
• If you have a restraining order, keep it with you at all times

You may also want to consider the following:

• Can you vary your schedule?
• Can you relocate to another office at your workplace?
• Are there any times that you are left alone in your workplace?
• Are there individuals at your workplace who know personal information (social security number, addresses, etc.)? Have these individuals been warned about your circumstances?
• Do you have secure parking?

Here are some helpful rules to share with co-workers, friends, and relatives:

• NEVER give out any information about the survivor to ANYONE. No matter how urgent the story sounds.
• Do not discuss the survivor with the stalker. Adopt a phrase such as “I am not going to discuss this with you” to redirect conversation.
• Stay firm, calm, and cool. Any emotional response may be interpreted as a weak point and the stalker may persist.
• If you make a threat, follow through with it. Do not say that you are going to call the police and then not do it. Let the stalker know that you are serious.

Identifying Potential Sources of Information

Stalkers will often use many sources of information to gain access to their victim. This list is not comprehensive.
• Co-workers
• Classmates
• Friends
• Relatives
• DMV
• City utilities
• The post office
• Phone companies
• Internet searches
• Human resource departments at workplaces
• Banks
• Credit card companies

Despite the confidentiality that many of the above listed sources claim to provide, through clever lying and manipulation, stalkers are able to access private information.

Police Reports

Filing a police report does not automatically mean that the perpetrator will be arrested. It often takes several police reports in conjunction with other legal action, such as a restraining order, to result in a criminal investigation. Filing a police report can help create a record of the stalking. We can provide you with more information about this option and assist you in filing a report.

Local Resources

Rape Response Services 24 hour hotline 1-800-310-0000